Thursday, November 27, 2008

Pardon the Turkey


This is a tribute to all of those lonely turkeys out there that have lost a loved one this November. You should know that the death of your loved one was not in vain; your loved one was delicious. Happy Thanksgiving to all, and now a moment of silence...How ridiculous? Did you know that George W. Bush pardoned a turkey?

Stumble Upon Toolbar

Wednesday, November 26, 2008

Drunk Driver Sobriety Test Fail


Here's 30 seconds of complete embarrassment. I wonder if this guy's seen his own sobriety test footage. More importantly is that the sound of his eye cracking when he braces himself from the fall with his face?

Stumble Upon Toolbar

Tuesday, November 25, 2008

Country Music Loses Political Theme To Hip Hop

Look out Toby Keith, Alan Jackson, and all the rest of the bandwagon hayseeds. There is a new theme in town! OBAMA! Gone are the days of Al-Qaeda bashing and Bin Laden smashing anthems. Now we have Obama as our savior rhymes.

Paint the White House black, and I'm sure that's got 'em terrified...

McCain don't belong in any chair unless he's paralyzed.

I love the shot of Obama dribbling the basketball around at the end. Very Gangsta'.


I don't even know what to say about that one. And of course the man that spawned them all. Will.I.Am.



So what have we learned here boys and girls. There are plenty of stupid people no matter what color or creed you belong to. As long as there are retards out there that are willing to get behind this garbage, there are retards willing to exploit their stupidity.

Stumble Upon Toolbar

Monday, November 24, 2008

Too Many Bumper Stickers, Not Enough Time

How many bumper stickers are TOO MANY? At what point does our stoplight entertainment just become distracting? We all have a guilty pleasure of reviewing the bumper stickers on cars ahead of us, but why...so we know who we're dealing with that's why. This one is a perfect example that our Freedom of Speech should actually be a "Privilege of Speech." I personally think that this individual's right to express his or her personal opinions through prefabricated car stickers should be revoked...

Stumble Upon Toolbar

Friday, November 21, 2008

Breckenridge Small Batch 471 IPA

This weeks beer pick goes to the Breckenridge Brewery's Small Batch 471 IPA. This is an American Double Imperial IPA brewed in Breckenridge, Colorado. It's extremely hoppy with some malty hints that come through to make this a very well-rounded and quite refreshing brew. It pours a golden, copper color with a nice thick head, but don't let it fool you...this one isn't a beer for your little sister with its huge ABV (9.2% alc./vol. to be exact). This is a big beer and every bit of delicious.

Stumble Upon Toolbar

Thursday, November 20, 2008

Geriatric Church Choir Gone Wild


This one speaks for itself...a senior citizen church choir singing rap songs. "It's getting hot in here, so take off all your robes." No wait, STOP, you're old. Many thanks to M.T.O. for the find.

Stumble Upon Toolbar

Wednesday, November 19, 2008

Old Man Finds Rare Primate That Was Thought To Be Extinct

An antique store owner, Mr. Weng, rediscovers the rarest primate thought to be extinct, the Pygmy Tarsier, in the mountains of Rorekatimbo in Indonesia. The old man was out taking a walk with his grandson on his lunch break when he came across this adorable creature. This nocturnal animal is rare in the fact that it spends most of its' time awake at night but never eats after midnight. That is also the reason the Mogw...Errrr Pygmy Tarsier has such large eyes. It hates the sunlight so it spends most of the daylight hiding its' sensitive skinfrom the dangerous rays.

"You do with mogwai what your society... has done with all of nature's gifts. You do not understand." Mr. Weng tells reporters. Our best guest was this means he was planning to serve this little guy as the dinner special at his nephew's China Palace #467 Super Grand Buffet but we were too busy staring at that creepy, hazy lifeless eye to really pay any heed to they ramblings of an old man.

Strangely enough, while we were in Indonesia reporting for this story, one of our photographers caught a glimpse of another unidentified species that had snuck into the hotel kitchen and was helping itself to some cookies. As our photographer approached the creature, he said it sounded as if it was repeating "Yum, Yum, Yum," over and over again.

Stumble Upon Toolbar

C.anine E.rectile D.ysfunction


Everyone stop what you're doing and buy stock in Pfizer, because this little doozy's going to be huge. Bonerol is the new Viagra for dogs; shah, as if they aren't humping enough legs...

Stumble Upon Toolbar

Tuesday, November 18, 2008

Up Shit Creek Without A Paddle?


Are you up Shit Creek without a paddle? Well come on down, we have a paddle for you...

Stumble Upon Toolbar

Monday, November 17, 2008

Vomit On Your Face


As if vomiting isn't awful enough. This poor girl gets a load in the face. Is that pilot doing tricks? Watch the vomit travel up the clear "sick bag." Gross...

Stumble Upon Toolbar

Friday, November 14, 2008

Founders Breakfast Stout

I'm going to keep this one short and sweet people, after all it is Friday and most definitely beer-o-clock right now. OK...I'm drinking a Breakfast Stout by the Founders Brewing Company out of Grand Rapids, Michigan right now and quite frankly I want to give it all of the respect it deserves. This beer is an American Imperial Stout and unbelievably tasty. It's almost a dessert beer; a well-balanced, creamy, chocolate malt with a remarkable hint of roasted coffee beans. It pours thick and black with a light brown head, much like a Guinness and weighs in at a hefty 8.3% alc./vol. Sorry guys that's all for now, my beer is waiting on me...just drink it.

Stumble Upon Toolbar

Thursday, November 13, 2008

Renegade Advertiser

I was driving around this afternoon looking for a place to have lunch. As I exited the highway into a very busy commercial area, I saw a young gentleman standing on the sidewalk carrying a Circuit City Sale sign. The only reason this even registered in my mind was that earlier that day, a customer of mine told me Circuit City will be closing 150 stores due to bankruptcy.

I realized that this was obviously one of those stores and this guy was probably getting $50 bucks to stand out here for a day. If he was smart, he might even be hiding a little flask in his pocket and making the best of the fresh air. At least this gig wouldn't be as undignified as those assholes that stand on the corner during tax season wearing those degrading lady liberty suits.

After a quick lunch, as I head back towards the main road, I get stuck in a bit of a traffic jam. Apparently, there was a four car pile-up that was blocking my ability to turn right to get back on the highway. As I approach the accident, who do I see standing right in the middle of the damn road at the last car in this pile-up? That dumb asshole with the Circuit City Clearance sign wearing a face mask to hide his shameless shit-head grin.


Just a couple of notes of detail. As you can see from the photo, this guy is really standing in the middle of this extremely busy intersection. The most opportune place you could possibly be if you want to show off your advertisement. You will also note the other two guys standing next to the truck are wearing short-sleeves. The hood and the face mask were not at all appropriate for the weather. It was easily sixty-five degrees.

I have to give this guy some credit for his tenacity. It takes a lot of balls to exploit the suffering of complete strangers. Which begs the question, why would this guy make this bold step for a throwaway job with so little responsibility, his only competition is a stake?

Stumble Upon Toolbar

Wednesday, November 12, 2008

Middle Aged Metal


I believe this is the first time I have seen the combination of eighties hair metal perm, zombie make-up, and a bald spot. I thought these guys were a joke until I talked to their number 1 fan Destiny Olsen from Chanute, Kansas.

Stumble Upon Toolbar

Drew Pickles Goes To Wendy's



What the fuck is going on here? A poopy cheeseburger and a cum frosty? Either a seven year old did this or a fucking genius. This is way too strange to not have some kind of backstory. If anyone knows where this came from please let me know. Why would the dad from Rugrats want to rape everyone in Wendy's that stands between him and his shit-burger?

Stumble Upon Toolbar

Tuesday, November 11, 2008

If Pickles Were Money


Here's a little ditty I stumbled upon. I have to warn you that this song is extremely catchy and will get stuck in your head. Written by Guy Bauer and sung by the Great Count Chocula, "If Pickles Were Money," is nothing if not ambitious.

So "When you think about pickles what comes to mind? Little tasty treats covered in slime."

I'm thinking this may be how we get our economy back on track.

Stumble Upon Toolbar

Tasty Road Treats

It occurred to me today that despite our current US economic crisis and failing markets worldwide, China excluded of course, that perhaps life does go on. I started thinking that life isn’t all about money even though that’s currently what’s on everyone’s mind (mine included). The fact is there are people in third world countries that don’t have economies to worry about; they have to worry about more serious issues like “what am I going to eat today?” or “damn, I don’t feel like walking 3 miles to get that drink of water.” Most of us don’t have much to spare now-a-days, but each of us can still do our part. I’m going to stand up for what I believe in. Everyone knows that we are a wasteful nation. There isn’t a day that goes by that I don’t pass a dead deer on the side of the road or some other unfortunate animal that didn’t make it across that busy intersection. If each and every one of us took the time to pull over and collect that roadkill, freeze and overnight it to the starving children of Somalia; the world would be a better place. Who’s with me?

Stumble Upon Toolbar

Roadkill, It's What's For Dinner

It occurred to me today that despite our current US economic crisis and failing markets worldwide, China excluded of course, that perhaps life does go on. I started thinking that life isn’t all about money even though that’s currently what’s on everyone’s mind (mine included). The fact is there are people in third world countries that don’t have economies to worry about; they have to worry about more serious issues like “what am I going to eat today?” or “damn, I don’t feel like walking 3 miles to get that drink of water.” Most of us don’t have much to spare now-a-days, but each of us can still do our part. I’m going to stand up for what I believe in. Everyone knows that we are a wasteful nation. There isn’t a day that goes by that I don’t pass a dead deer on the side of the road or some other unfortunate animal that didn’t make it across that busy intersection. If each and every one of us took the time to pull over and collect that roadkill, freeze and overnight it to the starving children of Somalia; the world would be a better place. Who’s with me?

Stumble Upon Toolbar

Monday, November 10, 2008

The Ultimate Superhero


Is this thing cool or what? Seriously, talk about the ultimate superhero; Mystique eat your heart out. This Indonesian Mimic Octupus reminds me of those slippery politicians in Washington that change their disguises at the drop of a hat...

Stumble Upon Toolbar

Saturday, November 8, 2008

Don't Honk At Old People


We're all guilty of being impatient with the elderly, whether they're behind the wheel of a vehicle or just simply taking too long to do whatever it is that they're doing. Well, beware people sometimes the tables do turn...

Stumble Upon Toolbar

Wednesday, November 5, 2008

Million Dollar Hole-In-One

James Foley of High Point, NC made a 165-yard hole-in-one and won a million dollars for it. The charity golf tournament, sponsored by Outback Steakhouse, was held at Devils Ridge Golf Club located in Holly Springs. He's going down in the books as the 10th person in the history of golf to win a million dollars on a hole-in-one. I kid you not people, check out the story here...

Stumble Upon Toolbar

The Evolution of the Dildo


Nice “rockdo”. It’s nice to see that some things never change (even with evolution). I suppose the message that science has provided us is that we should make the best out of every situation (no matter what the time period). Next time cave-dude, “consider joining the party…”

Stumble Upon Toolbar

Tuesday, November 4, 2008

Nerds Pwnly!


Here is a store that is sadly destined to fail. I love the leet reference but probably not the best marketing idea. I'm sure every old lady in this town has already written this place off as a pawn shop owned by some damn foreigner that can't spell.

The truth is, I guarantee you the pwner looks a hell of a lot more like one of these two creeps. The only thing being Pwned! in this place is your sweet virgin ass.

Stumble Upon Toolbar