If the Internet has given us one sure thing it's something to do when we are bored as hell at the office. Apparently there is a demand out there for funny cat pictures, so who are we not to give the public what they want? Eat your heart out ICanHasCheezburger...
...you be the judge...our very own Big Bird, 'ahem I mean Beeker to the rescue...'effin Duke University students; can't live with 'em, can't bury them in the front yard. Sorry for the outburst, back to the task at hand...If you have any information related to the whereabouts of either of these individuals, we would certainly appreciate it as we are trying to reunite a child and his father. Please have a heart...this is serious. How would you feel if your successful cartoon actor of a dad abandoned you when you were a baby?
Wow. Where have you guys been all my life?
Either I'm suffering from a bad case of scurvy or Blackbeard's curse has struck again. Shiver me timbers, I'll walk the plank before I have to listen to these swabbies massacre one more bad Styx tune. I'm afraid it's Davy Jones' locker for these landlubbers.
Straight outta the streets of Salt Lake. YEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOYYYYYYYYYY!
"Man, them skreets is tough yo! Just yesterday, I was gang banging the word of God all over dem hills and I thought I saw my first black person. I was so scared I threw all my pamphlets at his direction and ran home to get my 15 brothers. I thought for sho I was bout to get shot. And I knew I couldn't outrun him cause of that extra muscle they be havin' in their legs. LDS foreva' baaaaaaabbby!"
Nothing makes me more bitter than ignorant, racist little shits youtubin' about things they know nothing about.
This is my new hero. I've never seen such a happy guy in my life. For a man with no teeth, a horrible death wheeze of a voice, and the complexion of Beetlejuice, I am amazed that he can be this jovial.
Just a little tribute to the good 'ol days. Time seems to speed up as you get older. It seems like it was yesterday I was 11 years old eatin' a popsicle and playin' with my cousins. Man how time flies.
Ed. Note- If you are curious about the meaning of this, you can click on the title of this post and it will take you to youtube where you can read the description.
Our sincerest apologies for being so slack this year. Here's a little something to get us back on track that needs no introduction. Enjoy.
This little gem is a must see. If you can keep your eyes off Colleen's great ass, you may see the poor man's Christopher Reeve do a little Odd Job move on Flock of Seagull's one trick pony ass. That's a hell of a throw there pilgrim.
I want to make fun of this guy but that Charles Manson stare is a bit intimidating. Not to mention he is singing a song about a shitting pig whilst rocking the hair hat. Every person I have ever crossed paths with that has a hair hat has been completely bat-shit crazy. Sure, I can probably count those people on my hand but I've seen one up close and personal if anyone knows a certain famous hobo named Joshua (A.K.A. Chief Watauga) from Boone, NC, that is the hair hat of hair hats.
This guy's is a bit more creative but not nearly as alarming.
"I found a little Piiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiggggggggy by the side of the rooooooooooaaaaaaaaaaaaddd. A dookie dookie dookie dookie dookie doo." Bob Dylan would be envious.
By the way, Molly Ringwald called. She wants her t-shirt back.
If you haven't been flying first class, this should be reason enough. The first-class passengers of US Airways Flight 1549 that crashed into the Hudson River look pretty cozy to me...
I thought that I had seen it all. Is there such a thing that is more entertaining than a singing comedian/librarian singing a song about Quiche? Kris McLonis, from Ferndale, Michigan puts this question to the test with her whimsical little folk ditty.
I know there aren't many things that rhyme with quiche but only a librarian could incorporate a joke about microfiche into a song about shitty egg pie. Bleeeegghhh! Comedy is certainly not her niche. Her style is definitely a pastiche(of Joan Baez and Marjory the Trash Heap). If she makes it big, she will be thought of as nouveau riche. It's time to put these jokes on a leash. I defy anyone to come up with another one.
We want to apologize for the long hiatus. This website shit can be time consuming and we needed a little time to recharge. But we're back for 2009 with more idiots and annoying assholes than an American Idol taping audience.
So to kick things off right, here's an asshole of the highest order of Geekdom. Or as his friends like to call him Sir Smalldick the Pussydrier of Homoshire.
