Tuesday, September 30, 2008

Generation /b/


Here's something I haven't seen in quite a while. I have a sneaking suspicion that this may be one of the catalysts to the /b/ generation. These are some pretty heavy ideas to drop on an elementary school mind. Where can you really go from there? Certainly not Pokemon, or Magic: The Gathering, or Yu Gi Oh!(Whatever the fuck that is).

Noooooo. There are a certain group of us mid-twenties types that have continued to forage onward, despite having the worst things known to human kind thrown at us. There are many of you that think you know. But those of the /b/ generation know exactly what I'm talking about. We have seen things that make us wonder if we will ever be the same again. Things so abominable, one of our cultures defining characteristics has become anonymity.

And yet, we have continued onward. Sifting through the awful chat rooms that were GIF1, GIF2, JPG3 of Prodigy and AOL. Fighting the many viruses that stemmed from the more specific but horribly inconvenient newsgroups. Silently accepting being mixed in with the cynics of generation X and the logged in kids of generation Y. Well no fucking more. Because "sometimes there's a man... I won't say a hero, 'cause, what's a hero? Sometimes, there's a man. And I'm talkin' about the Dude here - the Dude from Los Angeles. Sometimes, there's a man, well, he's the man for his time and place. He fits right in there. And that's the Dude. The Dude, from Los Angeles. And even if he's a lazy man - and the Dude was most certainly that. Quite possibly the laziest in all of Los Angeles County, which would place him high in the runnin' for laziest worldwide. Sometimes there's a man, sometimes, there's a man. Well, I lost my train of thought here."

Nothing makes me more FFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUU than being associated with the LOLers and the WTFers of the trailer park that has become Youtube, Facebook, and MySpace. There is a large group that doesn't quite fit into either of these categories. The internet has become a culture all unto its own. And this culture has been broken down a million times into bloggers, trolls, memes, lulz, noobs, fappers, and a million other categories I don't care to name. But there is only one /b/tard. And for all your trickery, dastardliness, and depravity, I salute you. For there has never been anything like us and there never will be again. Except for this guy who was way ahead of his time

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Man Purse


Quick. Somebody find this guy's uncle and take him to jail. Repressed memories are a terrible thing to waste.

I hope the six year old girl he stole that bag from sees this video and turns him in. Any guesses about what kind of music that high school musical mp3 player contains? My three best guesses are Janet Jackson, Britney Spears, and The Jonas Brothers.

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Oberon

Sorry people I have to squeeze in one more summer brew before we all get slammed with our Fall Seasonal Ales full of wheat and pumpkin spices. This wonderful beer we know as Oberon was released by Bell's Brewery, which is just east of Boulder, Colorado. Oberon is an American Wheat Ale full of citrus flavors and a spicy aftertaste. It pours a light, creamy orange and has a distinct balance of citrus, wheat and spicy hops. This one reminds me of a Blue Moon only I didn't have to take the time to slice the orange. It's light, crisp and perfect for a summer or early fall barbeque. It's a solid 5.8% alc/vol and worth every mouthful. Two thumbs up and cheers to Bell's Brewery...

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Monday, September 29, 2008

Pudding Beards


What do you get when you cross chocolate pudding and ADHD? A weird-beard that would make the cakefart lady jealous.

Do you ever wonder what you did on the weekends before you drank? Thank God they didn't have webcams when we were kids.

These girls are brave to dance around with shit-smeared faces and phallic shaped food. It wouldn't take a whole lot of photo shop magic to turn a few of these clips into a two girls one cup parody.

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Thursday, September 25, 2008

Random Movie Clip



A dour Rae Dawn Chong and Willie Nelson shooting lasers from his eyes at a totem pole can mean only one thing. If you know what the hell that one thing is, please let us know.

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Thursday, September 18, 2008

Hip Hop Violin



I'm sorry guys. I know you were wanting to see the famous piccolo playing rappist, but this will have to do for now. Maybe tomorrow, I'll turn you on to my personal favorite. Death Metal trombone. The guy plays a custom trombone. The slide looks like a leg bone and it sprays blood out of the bell. Very demonic.

And take a look at that 'tude. I don't think I will ever be afraid of an 80 pound, poodle haired violinist in pink but I do appreciate the effort. She plucks those strings like she was squeezin' off a few rounds from her Glock. She could have really classed this video up a little bit if she would take a heavy swig from a 40 oz. between breaks. Or have a burning blunt, tucked into the strings on the headstock Van Halen style.

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Wednesday, September 17, 2008

Avada Kadavra Spencer



This was just so fucked up and creepy I had to put this up here. The song really gets stuck in your head and it won't go away. The editing is really damn clever too.

The look in that guys face is so creepy. I had to watch the original video to convince myself he really was even a guy. Insane, homoerotic, chaotic, random. This is either pure genius or I've just had one too many bitter brews. Either way, I don't think I'll ever understand how a boring fuck like Ben Bernanke inspired some wild shit like this.

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